It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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