I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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