she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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