so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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