Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
