his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
