i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He felt like a one man threesome
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
