He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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