I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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