I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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