You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
