she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
