At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
