I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
