My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
