We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
