I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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