i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wanna go halves on a baby?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
