Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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