when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
