i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How external is "for external use only"?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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