I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
