areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
