I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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