I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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