What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
