ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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