I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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