oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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