when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
