Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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