Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
