I'm sorry my penis didn't work
thus making me awesome and them whores
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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