this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have aggressive nipples.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
