At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
