Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
