apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
