Im at strip club and am horny
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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