and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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