Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
