It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
