He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
