If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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