She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
