I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
