I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
