How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize