Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
