thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
