He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
