Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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