Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
